the day finally arrived and it's like end of the world for three of us. so much tears, dispute and pain. i wanted to dig a hole, hide inside and dont evr come out. i dono how to face da bf anymore. guilt is killing me. i spoilt sth used to be nice and beautiful. i broke both ur trust. i betrayed both. i dont deserve anyone right now. i dono what to do. my mind is currently so blank bt al i rmb nw is i cried like shit ytd. ytd was the saddest and lousiest day of this year. i rlly want to die at that moment. both side are pulling me. i noe i sucks. i bring pain to both. im rlly afraid letting go and at the same time changes. i doubt i'll b forgiven. The damage i've done, i noe nth can be compared to it. all i can say is im very sorry, extremely sorry. i cant evn figure out. i noe all the things will nv be the same anymore. no matter how much love, i betrayed evrything. it's like im back to square one. just let me stone one corner. but i must stil bear in mind i only can have one. it's one to one. nv and no more one to two.

now things on both side wil nv be the same. i spoilt the love and trust i built. serve me right i noe. feeling like shit now. nobody wil actually understand. i hope i can mia forevr.